Making a habit of blogging has remarkably hard for me. I make an active effort to only say things that are good, useful or true. A habit I’ve tried to form after taking a challenge in a religious studies class to practice Right Speech. Which was defined as, telling the truth, avoiding malicious or harsh speech, and refraining from idle chatter.
My implementation of this habit is inconsistent. The constrained format of a tweet lends itself to the mindfulness the rule asks for. In short text conversation though I ignore it, often to my detriment. Additionally firing off half-baked ideas feels like idle chatter. These combine to leave my drafts folder full, and reader count at zero.
The necessity of feedback and interaction is at odds with the instinct of humility. I see something narcissistic in self-publishing. Sharing your thoughts, to no one and everyone, takes a kind of presumption. That one’s thoughts are worth sharing and that you’ve put them in a form that will add value to the reader.
Yet again and again I have been taught that consistency and practice are how you build a blog, brand, and personal presence online.
So here I am. At 10:00pm when I want to be binge watching Deep Space Nine. Hammering out semi-related words and struggling to find Making time to distill my thoughts into real writing is hard. The textual conversation of social media takes so much less effort. Yet, I hate that writing and cannot make myself post it anywhere that it might persist.
The real purpose of these words is is not any of the above imagined weight. It’s to force my mind to practice distilling the whirling bits into a sentence. The insights into a paragraph. And maybe string those into an essay, or other concretion of thought.
They are practice.
Perhaps that is enough to push me into clicking publish.